Damage Control: A Written Answer to a Business Disaster (Case Study)
7-21-08
Most people think copy writing belongs in ads, on brochures, etc. Heavy promotion, chock-full of sales slogans. Oh, and for filling webpages with jargon, so they don’t look empty.
I’ve always believed writing has tremendous power in business. To prove it, here’s one example where good copy helped salvage an entire business!
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(These proceedings concluded in mid-2009. But I’m leaving out or changing names of the parties involved to protect their privacy.)
Last month I received a call from Jeff, a mortgage broker in my area. He said he needed a letter written ASAP, and a fellow copywriter had recommended me.
Why the referral? The letter needed would seek damages from a software company, whose processing application caused severe damage to his business. Heavy on detail, very aware of the seriousness of the issues. Even though I like putting humor in my writing, I am very good at this kind too.
And I’d need to be.
THE PROBLEM: DATA LOSS
I spoke with Jeff at his office the next day. He laid out a day-by-day portrayal of what had happened. This software company – we’ll call them BrokerX Software – had sent Jeff an upgrade of their software 2 weeks prior. Not wanting to risk any data loss, Jeff called the company and had them walk him through setup.
Everything went fine. Until Jeff went back and checked.
BrokerX’s upgrade had erased his database of customer information!
You read right. Every name, phone number, account history…gone. Needless to say, Jeff called back.
At first, BrokerX tried to fix the problem remotely, connecting to his office in California from their center in Texas. While they worked like this (with no success), the software upgrade actually traveled out across his company network and erased any remaining data in the system!
Now the backups were gone too. Jeff almost panicked. He faced a double-barreled shotgun of Business Collapse and Financial Ruin.
Since remote support yielded little, BrokerX brought in technicians from a California office, hoping to restore the data on-site. Over a week’s effort only netted a 15% restoration.
Jeff was crushed. Despite all their efforts, his business was essentially destroyed. All the backups were gone, his paper files only covered a fraction of customers…he faced going out of business. From one software upgrade.
BrokerX declared they would like to settle with Jeff, and requested a damage estimate from him. Here’s where the letter came in. Jeff is a great broker – but he was far too frazzled by these circumstances to write out the story.
THE SOLUTION: AN URGENT LETTER TO SEEK DAMAGES
I was a little busy that week with two other clients. But after hearing Jeff’s story, I knew he needed the help. Badly. Jeff and I met, and had several phone conversations over the course of a week to rush his project along.
This was more of a legal/financial writing project than technical, so it was a unique sort of challenge. But I had several things going for me:
1. Jeff was thorough, and completely open. He provided every detail I asked for, and then some.
2. Jeff’s lawyer stood ready to look over my work once completed. In case a change was needed to
satisfy legal requirements.
3. Because BrokerX had in fact requested a damage estimate, I didn’t have to use a hard sales
angle. I focused on writing out a solid case for Jeff, so his damages would be 100% valid in
any reader’s eyes.
After Jeff gave his seal of approval, his lawyer took a look at it. His response? “There’s nothing I need to change!”
The next Monday, Jeff’s “Request for Damages” letter had been sent off to BrokerX.
THE RESULT: SETTLEMENT IN PROGRESS
Jeff called me a week later to say the company had arranged a meeting to discuss a settlement. He said he finally felt good about the process, and had hope of salvaging his company again. Great! I asked him to keep me informed, and so far everything’s going well for him.
Professional copy writing isn’t just for glitzy ads and hard-driving sales. It’s essential whenever you need to communicate a message. Regardless of whether that message is marketing a new product, explaining your business methods, or requesting legal damages.
Why are Businesspeople So Scared of Simple Language?
I include two ‘revision rounds’ in all my copywriting projects. That way if a client wants to change something, they can see how it looks before deciding to keep it.
Somewhere around three-quarters of my requested revisions in the past few years were all the same thing. Trading everyday, honest language for a jargon-choked, Corporate-Speak equivalent.
For instance.
MY COPY: Service X uses a unique “credit system” – buy credits for 1-3 cents each. Use one credit per issue (like a stamp). No monthly fees or contracts.
THEIR REVISION: Service X utilizes a proprietary credit-based system, providing the ability to rollout deliverables as a proactive solution at 33-99 per dollar.
I’m a Web writer. My job is to help people with their message. I can’t do that when the message they want confuses the *!#^@ out of their audience.
Which leads me to the title question. Why are businesspeople so scared of using everyday language to sell their products?
I can think of a few possible reasons why they do this. None of which fill me with hope.
1. They’re afraid of standing out. Maybe it’s a holdover from the schoolyard – the kid who stands out gets teased, picked last, and/or ignored. I like being “invisible in the crowd” sometimes too, but in business that just means your clients walk right by!
2. They think corporate-speak is “what people expect to read.” Sure, we may expect it. Doesn’t mean we like it!
3. They’re afraid of getting sued. Sometime in recent history, someone linked the idea of speaking plainly in business to lawsuits from disgruntled customers. Whatever the reason, many corporations started using Corporate-Speak as a sort of shield against liability. If nobody understands what you’re saying, it’s easy to pass the buck. And duck the subpoena.
4. And the deepest, most gripping reason? I think they see how the Web has changed everything. The old walls of business are crumbling. Two people in Texas can now overtake a New York conglomerate online.
So businesspeople hunker down into the patterns they know. Sticking with the language that (they thought) worked in the past.
Or worse, they don’t care about how they communicate at all. They’re big and they’ve got the market–that’s all that matters, right? Who cares about actually understanding the customer, so long as he pays the bill?
Even giants fall. The Corporate-Speak trend WILL have to end eventually. Companies who persist in using it two, three, five years from now? They’re hammering against a whole new consensus. And they’ll suffer for it.
(I’m speaking as a writer AND a consumer here.)
What’s the consensus? We want to know about what we’re being sold. We’re talking about things among ourselves.
And most importantly, we don’t have to continue to do business with you if you treat us like a number.
Have a look at some good writing. I didn’t write any of this copy. Whoever it was did a great job though. I have no trouble finding out what I need to on these sites:
www.webposition.com
http://www.meebo.com/products/
http://twiki.org/
(Disclaimer: I work with a company who uses WebPosition 4 Pro. However, I wasn’t the one who recommended its use.)
Think about the language you use. Realize it does affect your customers. And your company. Which would you rather have: a website full of copy that confuses your audience? Or persuades them?
The 5 Types of Customers You Meet on the Web
It’s easy to think of your market as one big block of people. It’s an old print-advertising tactic.
It’s also irresponsible to use on the Web.
A customer could be browsing through your site for a dozen reasons. He could be a tire-kicker, just browsing. He could be shopping around. Comparing you to a competitor. Desperate for a fast answer to his problem. He could even be a non-customer – a member of the media, or an industry researcher.
The key to respecting customers’ multiple interest levels is to provide specific types of content geared toward what they want. For these 5 types, the answers to that are:
A. Tire-Kickers
What They Want: The name says it all. Tire-Kickers are merely exploring. They might want to buy sometime in the future, or they may not have any interest beyond the pretty colors. Tire-Kickers are the hardest type to convert to customers, but it doesn’t take much to bump them up a level.
How to Give It To Them: Lure them in with detailed product/service descriptions and clear statements about how they solve specific problems. The Personal Voice (see my report, “3 Web Content Tricks”) is most valuable here, because it can draw Tire-Kickers into becoming Shoppers.
B. Shopping Around
What They Want: Shoppers want clear answers to their questions without having to ask them. They’re out for information, the more prolific and detailed the better. They’re in the emotional stage of beginning to apply reason to justify the emotional want.
How to Give It To Them: Shoppers are easy to please – give them what they want. Information. Put articles on your site about your products and industry. Include success stories. Alternately, you can anticipate their wants through landing pages (several versions of a page with slightly different content aimed at specific questions). Landing pages work best if you’re SEO-savvy and/or use them in part of a larger marketing campaign. They’re more effort, but you’re more specific. Higher return.
C. Comparison Shoppers
What They Want: They want to hear exactly how your product will solve their problem. And how it does so better than your competitors. Unfortunately, if they hear that from you, they’ll be skeptical. Doubly so if you outright mention competitors by name in your content.
How to Give It To Them: Who Comparison Shoppers would like to hear from are your previous customers. Offer them case studies and testimonials from people just like them. The content most likely to sway a Comparison Shopper away from competition also happens to be the most valuable marketing copy available, so use as much as you can get your hands on.
D. The Desperate Customer
What They Want: The Desperate Customer needs assurance he’s in the right place. Right now. He’s stressed. Deadlines loom. He’s already worked out the necessity of buying. All that remains is for you to show him you’re capable of solving his problem. Do that, and you have an instant customer.
How to Give It To Them: Here’s one way to show him what he needs. If you have articles, success stories or newsletters, make sure you have them listed on an index page, sorted by title or publication date, and link to it right off the homepage. Think about it – he can immediately check to see if someone else had his problem. Then he reads the article, sighs in relief, and calls to get that solution.
E. Non-Customers
What They Want: Non-Customers aren’t interested in being sold to, but what you can do is use them to help spread your message. (If you don’t have a clear message, get one fast.) Equip them with information tools. Show them why you’re a great company to work with, and they’ll carry the word along.
How to Give It To Them: They’ll want information, lots of it, and they want it fast. If you anticipate media attention, put a Media Kit section on your site with statistics, article clips, bios, and success stories. (Don’t forget testimonials!) Non-Customers can then get an overall impression of your company in one spot. If researchers come often, consider gathering customer statistics too.
The good thing about Web communication is that you’re not limited to a certain page size or number of words. You can take as long as you need to fully educate your customer and make your sales points. And with the customer types you’re bound to run into (these 5 aren’t all there is, trust me), the more solid content you can put up, the more visitors you’ll convert to customers from it.
(PDF download of this report available here.)
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Chris Williams (chris@blue-ferret.com) is a Web copy writer in the Bay Area, CA. A true tech-head, he spent 6 years in corporate IT before venturing out in 2002 to help companies communicate more effectively with their customers online. His writing clients include IT consulting firms, non-profits, financial firms and startups. You can find his copywriting website at http://www.blue-ferret.com.
Copyright 2006. This content is free to use and distribute, so long as it remains unaltered. Citation must include the author’s credentials.
